Something amazing happened tonight that I thought would inspire and empower you. I would like to share that story with you today. I always respect the privacy of my clients, and will not include her real name.

Many people have this misconception that those who teach and coach others are these divine beings who rarely if ever go through hard times because they have all the answers. Many fear that we judge them and condemn them, thinking they're stupid for not knowing what we know. Many project their insecurities and fears onto us and others around them, and then blame others for the suffering they cause themselves with these negative thinking processes.

People have high expectations, and we know the responsibility we carry with the position we hold as guides and coaches/mentors. We put our reputations on the line and risk being attacked and mistreated every time we open our mouths. We all have our struggles and learning to do. We all have ups and downs, and lose our way at times.

We are all the same. We are all divine beings having a human experience, "living" through physical bodies and becoming distracted by people and events around us. We are all spiritual children on a path of learning, remembering and "growing up". Just because we are farther along that path and have therefore learned more, does not make us any better or more important than anyone else. We're just older brothers and sisters. We're all family.

I share the following story to help you better understand both yourselves and those you look up to, in the hope that you will see the truth of what I have said and gain a better perspective.

Somewhere around 1am, 1/22/2010 I was answering email on Facebook when I got an instant message from one of my fellow life coaches (let's call her Jenifer). She greeted me, and I greeted her back: asking how she was doing.

She said she was having trouble sleeping and had a lot on her mind. She said her mind was clouded and she felt stuck. She had been feeling off, not enjoying speaking any more and was thinking about quitting. She was considering various options, but couldn’t tell what was right for her to do. She was lost and confused.

Now, I believe she mentioned once that she can feel when people are being deceitful, as most women can, but that's the most I remember hearing her talk about any sort of spiritual/intuitive experience. That's normally written off as "woman's intuition"; some vague gut/emotional feeling women get once in a while but often don't understand, research or cultivate.

I walked her through some breathing and visualization techniques to calm her mind and clear her energy, adding some specific intentions. It worked quite fast.

Then I walked her through what I now call my Intuitive Issue Analysis Process. I had her chart out her "issues" in a special way, and then taught her a technique I've been developing to teach people how to use their intuition to determine whether the choice they are considering is helpful or not. I had her combine her issue and the circled intuited response in a sentence and read it out loud. It only took a minute or so.

I now copy out of our instant message window (again, respecting her privacy, I will be calling her Jenifer) what happened next:

what was the sentence and how did it feel

1:13am Jenifer
I KNOW what I have to do
Doing a membership website is who I am and what I was created to do

1:14am Christopher
awesome, you even personalized it

1:15am Jenifer
I can daily devotionals
I did an interview this week and the sound guy at the studio said
'You are the 1st life coach I have ever met that was BORN to be a life is who you are!!'

1:16am Christopher
LOL wonderful

1:16am Jenifer
I can speak - and do it well - but that is performance based and I am not
I want to be me...I don't want to spend all of my time preparing
I want to be with people, helping people
THANK YOU Christopher

1:17am Christopher
performance based? can you clarify that?
You're very welcome :)

1:17am Jenifer
When I prepare talks it is structured and sometimes loses ME

1:18am Christopher
ok, but is it the structure or the talk that's the problem?

1:18am Jenifer
The structure...I love talking with people...
outside of the box
off of the paper, if you will

1:19am Christopher
I understand. I and many other coaches and trainers have had the same problem. Here's how many of us solve it:

1:21am Christopher
We need the natural flow, but we need to stay on topic and not go too far off track. What I do is make an outline to clarify the topics, concepts and answers. Then, I underline the important points. I use those as a guide, but don't script everything out. It's like being asked questions by your audience:
you have the topic of discussion, but you don't have to memorize a script. That's ONE option

another is this:

list a few key points/topics/issues to address that are broad enough to give you talking room. Add in questions and be interactive, and let the interaction guide you.
make it a conversation with the audience

1:23am Jenifer
I get that... and that is my 'sweet spot'

1:24am Christopher
if the topic is on relationships, for example: you can list the main issues people have, and ask the audience how they usually handle it. Then you ask them how that works for them, and give them better ways of doing it

you answer questions and follow their lead until they run out of responses, then go to the next
you can also keep a giant note pad with you to write what they say to keep it visual, as well as anything that comes to you
keep it on an easel like T. Harv Ecker does

1:25am Jenifer
Chris...thank you! I have been speaking so long that I have been stuck

1:26am Christopher
go with what feels right for you. give yourself as much structure as you need, and balance it with leg room to roam as you are guided
;) ~hugs you tenderly~

1:27am Jenifer
Hugs back to you dear Chris!!

1:27am Christopher
you've over-complicated yourself and lost yourself in the "work". Live your purpose.
keep it simple
keep it from the heart

1:27am Jenifer
THAT is exactly what happened

1:28am Christopher
conversation is where you thrive, let it guide you.

1:28am Jenifer
Gosh Chris, I feel like YOU know me, my spirit, my heart

1:28am Christopher
;) maybe I do

1:29am Jenifer
just maybe you do...

1:29am Christopher
I can feel you
I can see your consciousness

1:30am Jenifer
I get that! And I like that because I trust you...

1:30am Christopher
I'm always here for you hun
even coaches need coaches

1:30am Jenifer is so true!!
Zig Ziglar told me that about five years ago!!

1:31am Christopher
we're human like everyone else
we all get lost in our thoughts and forget ourselves from time to time

1:31am Jenifer
Because we are coaches we try to hide that so people think we have it all together

1:31am Christopher
we just need someone there who can see the truth and remind us
hiding is a reaction to fear

1:32am Jenifer
Thank you for being that person to me... thanks for letting me shed my skin with you

1:32am Christopher
be human, be vulnerable. The only people who will judge you aren't worth your time. The positive people will love you for it
be honest, be yourself
stay within your integrity

I'm here to serve, and I'm glad to help

1:34am Jenifer
And I am so grateful and am ready to go to sleep... thank you Sand man!

1:34am Christopher
lol you're welcome dear, sleep well.

Oh, do you mind if I share this anonymously?
I think this would be inspirational to people

1:36am Jenifer
Use it... keep helping people...

1:36am Christopher
it's what we do :)

1:36am Jenifer
It is!!

1:37am Christopher
have a wonderful rest, and remind yourself in the morning that you are living your purpose, not letting it become a job and live you.

1:37am Jenifer
Oh Chris... you are a blessing to me!!

1:38am Christopher
as you are to me dear. Thank you for trusting and sharing with me

1:38am Jenifer
We are connected... good night dear friend!!

1:39am Christopher
always. sleep well my dear.”

I hope you have enjoyed the story, and it has helped and encouraged you in some, if not many ways. If you would like to learn this and other techniques of improving your life and empowering yourself, feel free to visit our web site at or email/message me.

Be well, accept yourself and your learning, and grow in happiness and peace.
Namaste my friends

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