I decided to title this balancing negative energy instead of balancing positive energy. I mean most of us that are trying to gain more psychic insight and nurture our abilities are focusing on the positive energies in order to accomplish it. But every year in the season of spring we watch an appearance of negative forces fade from the world into a beautiful life of buds, insects, animals, and flowers. Everything that appeared as if it were dead suddenly comes back to life.

 

The thing is, I look forward to those renewals every year. For the past two years I recognized that most of my negative energy comes from feeling upset about the hurt that I feel from the perceptions of other people. And it kind of dates back to the relationships with my immediate family as I was growing up. I don't know if it was just insecurities that my family had inside of themselves or if it was just me being very sensitive. Maybe even having psychic abilities to get the reality of what was being felt around me in the atmosphere. Mostly in the way that I really love the people around me and try really hard to have relationships with the people around me. The thing is....I find myself wondering how people can just think the worse about a person or situation even though somebody shows over and over again that they are really trying to make things good around them. Trust issues.....that is what I keep looking at over and over again in my relationships.

 

I make a list every day of all the things that I need to do to be the most loyal, trusting, loving, responsible person that I could ever be. I have a priority list of importance as to how it all gets placed out. Every year in the fall I renew my commitments to these things, every year in the spring I think of how I can make the endeavors of my labors most prosperous. So here is my woman list....myself first, children under the age of 18, my current career, my husband, my immediate family members, my husbands immediate family members, my spirituality and psychic endeavors, and then the efforts in community service and community identity.

 

So as I prioritize my list everyday on how I can make each of these endeavors productive, I usually find that around me is a lot of out of wack expectations. People who don't take care of themselves wanting me to take care of things that they could very easily learn to do themselves. People who think that a sugar spoon is more important than respecting other people around them. I was diagnosed with MS 12 years ago and I am still walking, functioning and taking care of my business. So I request for people to learn how to deal with anger around me. That is my boundary. I do not like to have people yelling and screaming about a sugar spoon around me because the anger in the atmosphere makes me very ill. When a lot of yelling takes place I find myself getting stuck in bed not being able to move my legs, or even dragging my feet behind me when I try to walk to the kitchen to get my first meal in the morning. But then it turns around when I set the boundary. "I will respect your feelings about a sugar spoon if you want to talk about it but please do not yell." Look the yelling creates so much confused energy around the house I can't really get a good reading on what is taking place inside of me or in any kind of tangible insight to productive endeavors. The reply comes back that I don't care about that other persons feelings. Angry people feel that they have the right to yell and be paid attention to. And even in the world, who gets their way in the restaurant or in the grocery store? Of course it is the people who yell loud enough. So in the most reasonable way, I will finally get the yelling to stop. But then people shove the anger. They don't know what to do about it. Then it has to turn into productively changing the situation by talking, discussing, or just not stirring coffee with a sugar spoon. This is the bad habit that I can never seem to change. I mindlessly continue stirring coffee with that danged sugar spoon making everybody upset. I even laugh over why it is such a stuck behavior with me that I know should be easy to change. It drove my mother and father crazy when I was younger as well.

 

Let's have a conversation, I suggest. Then I hear all of these perceptions that people have about me that would totally destroy the self esteem of the person who is saying it. If I had said it to them, boy that would have destroyed there fragile little egos!!!! So then at one point I made another rule. For every bad thing that you want to say, you at least have to have 3 good things that you see about me. Look, I don't do this for me, not really. I do this to teach them that berating people will get you no where in real life. It is a therapy technique. One criticism for three affirmations. I don't think it is to much to ask. Well, the kids are about grown. Now I hear them telling their friends the same words that I use. When their friends say something negative they set boundaries. Constantly fighting agains negative energy to maintain our respect and diginity by setting boundaries and coming up with productive solutions. Let me tell you, it is hard work.

 

You see, this is exactly what causes me to become upset and sick. I don't expect to hear that anybody is perfect. But my goodness it is so easy for negative perceptions to consume people. But I find that is important to maintain these energy flows with people around me in order for my own survival to happen. I just happen to be super sensitive and it is worthwhile for me to be a loyal person who is willing to give people ideas on how to be around me if they want to. I won't control it. People are allowed to think and feel the way they want. I enjoy thinking and feeling the way I want to feel and think so I want other people to enjoy that as well. But as hard as the work is, I am finding new ideas to maintain healthy positive flows by balancing the negative in my life. So as I look over my list of commitments that I set for myself in the fall. The pre-planning to my own relationship harvest, I am set by utilizing this winter season of letting my ground rest to plant my little relationship flowers into my life. Hopefully it will be a fruitful season of people really loving each other and taking out their time to make their own commitments to their goals and successes. Maybe I will even be able to stop using that darned sugar spoon to stir coffee this year and stop driving my family members crazy from this dumb little thing that upsets the house so much when I do it. I truly have compassion on how this action makes other people feel.

 

Have a very happy spring everybody!!! May your own relationship harvests be more fruitful and abundant this year as ever!!!!

 

 

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