New around here, and looking for some answers/validation

Ok, so I'll write this out again lol. I was a sensitive child. I could always feel other people's emotions, it was over whelming. My mother's favorite description of me back then was "You always cry for the family, when no one else can." She never knew just how painful that was for me, we didn't have a happy child hood, and my mother was severely depressed, and at times suicidal. I never knew why until really right now, but I was also suicidal as a child, I mean as young as 9 and 10 years old. My mother later told me that she was very very depressed and regularly thought of suicide at that time frame. My sister has emotional disorders, and was moody as all hell. School was a living nightmare, the amount of emotions, was crazy. I started faking being sick in 2nd grade to get away.
I also had/have crazy vivid dreams. I believe some of these are out of body experiences, they were just too real. Others, one in particular I believe is a past life memory, I had it when I was 6, I'm 26 now and still remember it like I had it yesterday.
Now lets talk the spirits. I saw visually two, for sure one of them was my great grandmother, who passed one year before me to the day. With out ever knowing her I have always felt a very strong connection with her, and one night when I was 7 or 8 she came to me. She didn't say anything, but projected lots of love and peace, and calmness. I think she was just telling me she was there. The other spirit was not nice, I don't even think it was human. It was terrifying, and I couldn't sleep the rest of the night. It was black, a shadow really, but more solid..fluid movements and just such a negative energy, again, over 20 years have passed and I can still remember just how scared I was. I also remember walking along a lot through woods, I've always been attracted to wooded areas, and sensing the different spirit energies around me, even trying to talk with them. I never "heard" them then, it was more like feeling their emotional answer, than hearing a speaking one. I'm not even sure any of this makes sense lol.
It has been about 3 years since the last spirit tried to talk, to me, maybe she's a spirit guide, I'm not sure. Really she's the only one to contact me this way, but I was sitting in my living room, either my children were not home, or both napping (more probable.) Anyway, I heard my name called by a woman. The voice was in my head, but most definitely NOT my voice. It was calm, higher than mine, and not at all malevolent. Her name started with a K...she told me, but I was pretty scared. She told me not to be afraid, that she was here to help me. At this point I was so scared I shut her out, and have not heard from her since.
I am an old soul, I know this, I can feel it down deep, my oldest daughter is as well, and I believe our souls have been intertwined for a long long time.
My ability to sense other's feelings has been shut down for a very long time, since puberty. I remember the effort it took for me to turn it off, but now I'd like to be able to tap into it again, and maybe explore some of my other possible abilities. I'd also like to get some feedback on these experiences, and how/what I can learn from them as an adult.
Thank you all for your help.

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Because of the way I was raised in learning how to deal with the Apache Shaman spirits, I had to learn to discern spirits at a very young age. I was taught that only light could see the darkness of a spirit. If I could see darkness the only truth was that I myself was light. This teaching gave me confidence that I was a child of light. I was also taught that the dark shaman spirits were only dark because I was blocking the light upon them. As soon as I could see the character of myself plainly then the spirit would no longer be dark. When I see my own character I can shine the light on the spirit and see the spirit in color and brightness. We recite stories about ourselves that remind us of the good and noble deeds that we have done. Also about how we have overcome our fears or have overcome hardship. Bravery, courage, patience and wisdom. When we see the true character of ourselves, the spirits become bright and beautiful. The spirits respect us when we shine our lights upon them. Any way, I am not for sure if these are the same kind of spirits but it is how I was taught to deal with them. When we see ourselves as light, shine our light, we give glory to the spirits who help us. When we see their beauty we recite stories of their good deeds and noble actions. It is like painting a sand painting. We fill in the colors to the dark spirits and they are no longer dark. This will work if any of these dark spirits are Native American. But I have found that most spirits enjoy hearing good things about them and brings peace quickly during a haunting or spiritual battle. It is about respect to all creation. Just like I was saying, these spirits have taught me a profound generosity, courage, patience and wisdom.


Sherri Lanham

Actually your information is great.

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